CityinThree

Comparing yourself to others can literally be the death of you, it can become the root cause of your depression...

Comparing yourself to others can literally be the death of you, it can become the root cause of your depression or anxiety and can actually limit you from living your life the way you want to if you don't take control of it. How do I know this? From personal experience. I'm going to talk about some of my past bullying experiences and intertwine that with how I deal with comparing myself to others online. 

I dealt with bullies all growing up through elementary and some in high school but I have been lucky to not have people blatantly tell me they think I'm fat in the last few years. I partly think this could be because they think I'm intimidating and they don't want to cross me or they're just scared I might yell at them and embarrass them. Both valid because one or the other would probably happen. But that doesn't mean people don't tell me what they think of me; a person's facial expression can revel A LOT.  People can think I'm fat all they want because fat DOES NOT equate to ugly. Being fat or having someone think I am fat does not mean I'm ugly. It simply means what it says it means, it means that whoever called me fat thinks I'm fat. More than likely whoever called me fat was trying to use it as an insult and so be it. I'm at the point in my life where the word fat does not phase me whatsoever. On one hand, the person who called me fat probably has issues of their own that they need to unpack. The fact that another person is more concerned about the size of MY body and takes the time out of their day just to tell me that, reminds me that they just wasted their precious time insulting someone who doesn't care what they think. 

The fact is, comparing yourself to others is pretty much inevitable in the world we live in, but HOW you compare yourself can change your mind from being negative to being more positive.

There's this one situation from elementary school that I remember so vividly. This guy who bullied me all through grade 6, said to me "You're too fat to ride a bike," WHILE I WAS RIDING MY F***ING BIKE!In any world how does that insult do anything? For one, he's clearly telling me something where he's wrong because I'm actually riding a bike. Another thing, the fact that he was unable to come up with a more creative insult than what he saw me doing in that moment just speaks volumes to the lack of creativity he possess. But even to this day, almost every other time I ride my bike anywhere, I still think of this situation even though it happened to me over ten years ago. Why? Because fat is something I have always known and I don't know anything else. Keeping other's insults in the back of your mind may not be healthy and it usually isn't for the most part. But the only reason I keep those insults and bullies in the back burner of my mind is give myself a confidence boost. It may sound weird I know. But the way I see it, those people who have insulted me in whatever manner clearly have issues of their own which just makes me feel better about myself because they have more issues than I do. 

It's taken me 23 years but I am comfortable in my skin. My stretch marks are racing strips and just proof that I have big breasts. All of the rolls I eat at the holidays always seem to stay with me and give me the love and support I need during the winter. Bless the life of never being cold! 

I think that Instagram can be one of the most toxic social media sites out there for comparing yourself to others. Don't get me wrong I use it all the time and I follow a lot of influences and public figures and look at their stuff all the time. There are some important things to take note of when you compare yourself to others. Remember that someone's Instagram account is just a highlight reel, it's not real. They aren't posting the negative thoughts they have, the bad situations they are having, they are simply posting the good and positive times in their life. I do recognize that some accounts do make note of rough patches and issue of their lives, but I'm referring to the majority of accounts not doing as such. One of the ways I have turned looking at different accounts on Instagram to a positive thing... is by using them as inspiration. I like to see it as I am following their account because they have done something that I am interested in doing and I would like to try it in the future. More specifically, I follow a lot of travel accounts. But I don't look at their accounts and get sad because I'm not there with them. I see their photos for ideas of new places I want to travel to in the future. 

How someone views me is important to me when it's my family or my close friends. Why? Because they are my support system and they are the ones who knock me upside of the head when I need help. But when random people on the street give me dirty looks cause they think I'm fat, or someone on Instagram is trolling me because the fat in my pictures offend them, those things don't matter to me and hopefully they never will. What I think about myself is way more important than what anyone else thinks, especially when you don't know the person and you will never know the person. That just adds more ammunition to the fact that they are irrelevant and unimportant in your life. I think that's why a lot of celebrities don't read the tabloids. They don't know those people and they know that their real fans wont believe that nonsense. 


Comparison sucks I know, I think we all know that and social media does not help us whatsoever in this regard. It just gives us more opportunity to compare ourselves to others. Simply unfollowing all those accounts that make you feel bad about yourself and your life is one easy step to being happier and more positive. Out of sight out of mind right? It can work for some people for sure but not everyone processes things the same way. I just know that this method has worked and helped me tremendously. Even though getting bullied at a young age hurts, trying to turn the situation into something you can learn from can help you grow and stay positive. Even in a weird way like mine. Best of luck and let me know how you deal with comparison!