CityinThree

You know, when I first sat down to write this article I was ready to drag the hell out of Offset...

You know, when I first sat down to write this article I was ready to drag the hell out of Offset and anyone who participates in similar behaviours. Why? Because let's face it, publicly cheating and humiliating your wife, having your fans and people in the industry harass your partner on social media and then hosting a ''Take me back Cardi'' campaign by using emotional labour, blackmail and manipulation is TRASH. However after doing my research to find out what exactly is going on and listening to Cardi B's Instagram lives and seeing her posts, I feel like I have a clearer understanding of how Cardi B feels about the whole situation, and out of respect for her, I wanted to take on this article with a wider lens.

In December 2018 at the Rolling Loud Festival held in Los Angeles, rapper Cardi B made history, being the first ever female headliner at the Rolling Loud Festival since it started four years ago. Unfortunately, things didn't go as planned for miss Bardi because her baby daddy Offset crashed her moment by showing up to her set armed with flowers, desperately asking for her back. At first glance, his grande gesture seemed to be from the heart and genuine. However, I personally feel like his actions are extremely toxic and manipulative. The events following Cardi's divorce announcement leads me to question the role of toxic masculinity in a relationship and how it affects the behaviour of both parties.

After Cardi announced her divorce on Instagram, the ''Men Are Trash'' committee gathered themselves to uplift Offset, by making videos, tweeting and basically harassing Cardi by commenting on her pictures begging for her to take Offset back. The most disturbing to thing to me is seeing how passionate the men in the industry are about the ''value'' of marriage, the importance of forgiveness and recognizing the effort in someone taking accountability for their actions. These are, of course, important elements of a relationship, however, what I fail to understand is where were these men, 50 Cent, The Game, 21 Savage etc., when Offset was publicly violating his vows. Where were they the first time he cheated and Cardi forgave him for his faults? What about the second time? Or the third? You get the idea.

The more I thought about this situation the more familiar this sounded to me. I thought about my own friends and family who have been in a situation like this where their partner constantly violated their trust and manipulated them into taking them back; by making grand gestures and convincing them that there is too much history to leave now. But if not now when? And not only that but there seems to be a culture which allows men to cheat and expect women forgive them because it's ''simply a hurdle in a relationship" and "everyone makes mistakes''. The funny thing is that if this situation was reversed and if, in the case of Cardi, an ex-stripper, were to cheat on Offset, all hell would break loose. Offset would drop a track title: ''Can't Turn A Hoe Into a Housewife'', there would be memes all over the internet, and the ''Men are Trash'' committee would use that to their advantage in order to fit their agenda.

On the other side, after seeing how Cardi B had been reacting to this situation, I can totally understand where she is coming from because this isn't just any man. It's someone who she married and who she had a child with. We all have been in a situation where someone in our life has been a toxic element to our environment but we still don't feel the need to drag them down because of what they meant to us in the past or even what they still mean to us. Cardi mentioned in one of her lives that Offset is someone that always has always been extremely supportive and uplifting. With that being said, although I honestly think Offset could have handled things better, I have a lot of respect for Cardi and how she has been handling things for her sake and the sake of her child. I commend her for being the bigger person and wanting to handle things in the most mature matter.